Sometimes, I write for my kids

I’m still in the process of writing #TheBridge and it has proven to be a very daunting task because of all the memories that I’m forced to revisit. 

So as I was scrolling through my newsfeed, I stumbled upon this post: Exes Ask Each Other Questions They Never Had A Chance To While Dating (Video), which I thought would be helpful but I was wrong. Half-way through the first video when she asked him why he cheated on her so many times, I had to end it. “I can’t watch this,” I told myself. His final answer to her was, “Yeah, I don’t have the answer to that.”

The reason I started #TheBridge (aside from the fact that some friends have been ‘encouraging’ me to write it for many years now) was because of my children. My 12-year-old is already interested in some girl from the opposite school. My 10-year-old, although she doesn’t seem to care about stuff like that, is also reaching that age. And we all know they grow up so damn fast. I have seven kids who will have to deal with I-don’t-know how many relationship problems each. I’m getting nervous just thinking about it. 

I’d like them to know what being in a relationship with the opposite sex is about. How they will cry their heart out at the most confusing time of their life and it’s all never like what they read in romance novels or what they see in rom-coms. How both parties can be too proud to admit their mistakes. About how they WILL make mistakes and hurt each other when they are trying to guard their own feelings. And how some broken pieces just remain unfixable. 

Sometimes I think the things we experienced when we were younger were just so petty and the ways we chose to handle them were just so silly. We were all so gullible back then. But, returning to those moments with our younger selves is still as painful. 

And this is when I wish I could just keep my kids in a monastery for the rest of their lives. Or stuff them back into my womb.

*** This was originally posted on my Facebook page on 6 June 2016.

Again?


Happy birthday, Stupid. 

What the hell did you do now?

What the hell did you do to sabotage your own relationship?

Again?

Yes, I heard. 

Can’t seem to keep one going long enough, huh?

Did you do what you did years ago?

It can’t be something you didn’t do. 

‘Cos not much has ever been expected of and from you. 

And it was always that particular thing you did. 

That thing that always escalated to something you overdid. 

That unforgivable thing…

But you’ve always been forgiven time and time again, haven’t you?

And yet, you haven’t learned a thing, have you?

So was that what you did?

Again?

Did you run around kissing girls and making them cry?

Again?

Did you run around kissing girls and making her cry?

Again?

“And who do you think you are?

Runnin’ ’round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul”

– Jars of Heart, Christina Perri

So apparently, there’s already a song written for people like you. 

Seriously, who do you think you are?

Who the hell do you think you are, Stupid?

But then again, it’s probably karma coming back to bite you in the ass. 

Sorry, but I’m not sorry. Neither are the rest of the hearts in that jar. 

PS: ‘Stupid’ was your favourite thing to say. Now, ‘stupid’ right back at you. 🙂

Staying together

Just the other day, a friend of mine and I were talking about this. Keeping a relationship of any sort is never easy, let alone keeping one that is bound by a covenant. But it is possible, with lots of effort. 
 
It may seem so easy for some people, especially those who look happy, contented and affectionate when the couple is together outside of their home. But the reason why they are still together is not what you see through their interactions in public. 
It is a lot of hard work behind closed doors. Lots of struggling to not bite each other’s head off during an argument. 

Lots of battling with the temptation to just throw in the towel and say, “Why do I even put up with you when I don’t even need you?” 

Lots of suspicions.

Lots of doubts. 

Lots of trying (and sometimes just not giving a damn anymore) to prove their faithfulness and fidelity towards each other.

And most of all, lots of reconciliation that tests how true they both really are sorry for their own actions. 

Marriage is the most challenging thing anyone has to go through. But the one who makes it ’till death do us part’ is the one who heroes it out for all to see that there is hope for true love and a lasting relationship, in a place so bleak and miserable such as this world that we’re living in.