Of suicides, depression, and the man with a haunting voice

My thoughts on the article Twitter Wants To Protect Eddie Vedder At All Costs After Chris Cornell’s Death.

A bit too soon to talk about it? Maybe. But it’s not just about protecting the best vocalists, grunge icons, or legends anymore. We’re talking about protecting precious lives everywhere. And it’s never too soon to raise awareness on supporting and helping one another out of anything that could lead to self-inflicted injuries or suicidal thoughts. 

I recently wrote an article for a local youth magazine on the issue of teen suicide and depression. As usual, as I would in any of my writings, I did not only research on people who have committed suicide or tried to take their own lives; I made myself one with such character. 

It wasn’t very difficult, given the fact that I’ve journeyed through depression before. But I realised that you have to be in so deep, buried under so many layers of self-hatred and be completely devastated of any self-esteem in order to be wading through dark thoughts of hurting yourself to the point of death. 
“It’s like walking around with a giant lead blanket on you.” – Jonathan Davis, Korn

“I looked at all these beer bottles and saw they were kind of like a metaphor for my life. I was just an empty shell, something to pour alcohol in and was ready to break at any time.” – Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

Whatever it was that Chris Cornell and all these precious souls were going through, whatever it was that was going through their minds moments (and maybe even months or years) before they decided to end it all, I believe there were tiny windows of opportunities for them to climb out of the cold and dingy room they kept themselves locked in. 

There are many people who have come out of this. And they are all out to help those who are going through what they’ve been through. (You can find out more on You Rock Foundation.) Because at the end of the day, we all need to help one another see that “[t]here is always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s all temporary. Pain is temporary; depression is temporary. You are stronger than you know…you can get through it.” – Corey Taylor, Slipknot

Jonathan Davis says that “[i]t takes time. Sometimes, it takes medicine. Sometimes, it takes re-arranging your whole life and doing things differently but it does get better at times and those are the times [he lives] for.”

All of us will fall into some kind of self-rejection or anxiety at one point or another in our lives where we will find it hard to focus on climbing out of a nasty situation. (I’ve got to tell you that it gets kind of cozy all wrapped up in the blanket of depression at times that you just don’t want to get out of it.) But there is something we all need to remember before we decide to get into an addiction, self-hurt, or entertain suicidal thoughts: we are all accountable for the lives of everyone else as well. Whatever we do to ourselves, it affects other people more than we know or care to admit. It affects our loved ones, the people we are destined to know in the future, and the people who would stumble upon our life stories. 

At any time, seek help. Even if it’s the smallest of things. You are never an inconvenience to anyone. You will never be a burden to anyone with your problems. Regardless of how alone you think you are, there are people you can reach out to, who would be honoured to walk with you through it all. 

Despite everything, I still hope and pray that Chris Cornell and all those precious souls who have given up too soon will find the peace and liberation they were looking for wherever they are now. 

“In my shoes

A walking sleep

And my youth

I pray to keep

Heaven send

Hell away

No one sings

Like you anymore.” – Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden

… because seriously, no one sings like Chris Cornell.

*Originally posted on my Facebook page on 19 May 2017.


Would you remarry?

cast-awayHubs: Do you remember the movie Cast Away? The one where Tom Hanks came back after being lost for many years and Helen Hunt had gotten married to his friend because they all thought he was dead?

Me: Yeah, I guess. I think I remember watching something along that line.

Hubs: What if it happens to us?

Me: You mean, like if we all thought you were dead but you came back? Like what happened with those people on MH370?

Hubs: And you’re married to one of my friends.

Me: That’s not going to happen. I wouldn’t remarry unless I’ve seen your dead body.

In fact, I don’t think I will marry again, I didn’t say.

Truth is, I didn’t remember what actually happened in Cast Away when hubs randomly threw that scenario at me over a week ago while we’re on a vacation.

I thought about it again today and decided to google a synopsis of the movie. I realise that it’s a totally different situation compared to what we have now.

Chuck Nolan (Tom Hanks) goes missing after he proposes to his girlfriend Kelly (Helen Hunt). Four years later, he is rescued and comes back to find that Kelly is married to his orthodontist and they have a daughter. There is nothing they can do about it even though it is evident that they still love each other. They are forced to move on separately.

Hubs and I are a different case altogether. We are married and we have six children. If he does go MIA on me one day, whether he is dead or alive, his presence still remains in our children and in our home.

Would you remarry?

Three things I learnt from my few years as a financial consultant

1. LIFE IS SHORT: The total premium paid on one’s life insurance is never more or equivalent to their total sum insured upon their life at the time of claim.

2. DEATH IS INEVITABLE: It can happen anytime, anywhere, anyhow.

3. The song: ‘Na si wa oo chik pak ban’ (If I had a million bucks)…