Merrier and easier

“The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities,” Taylor continued. “You have to let go… and then you’re just thankful when they all get to school on time.” – excerpt from Researchers reveal the most stressful number of children you can have

This article also shares my views that four is the ideal number — if the couple doesn’t want to go crazy like us and have a basketball team and some reserve players. It gets easier after four, I always say.

People tell me they don’t know how I do it because they ‘have two already headache’ (you’ve got to say this with a Chinese accent). Well, you should go for four. Trust me, that’s double the amount of joy and half the amount of stress. Three is the worst. Sibling rivalry, middle child syndrome, entitled youngest, domineering eldest, almost zero teamwork because it’s everyone for themselves.

Having more siblings helps shape my kids to be who they are today. They may be hard to control with their noise, mischiefs, mess, and rowdiness, but they are always looking out AND looking after one another. That alone lessens the workload for us.

They are also wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy less selfish compared to when it was only Josh & Joy or Josh, Joy, & Ella. Whatever they have, they would automatically share. Whatever they do, the first thing on their mind is how it would affect the others. And they carry this with them in their relationship with their friends as well.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t have to teach them these values. They pick them up on their own because they know they are in a team.

You want to tell me I’m being self-centred for wanting and having more kids? I may look tired all the time but the result I’m getting is kids who place others’ needs above their own. It’s definitely worth every blood, sweat, and tear. Literally. And that’s our contribution to society.

As with anything that involves people, quantity is what brings quality. Like in an organisation — corporate or non-corporate — the more manpower you have, the better the quality of the work. Here’s something to think about for new parents.

#ProudMotherOfEight #IWouldHaveMoreIfICould


Sometimes, I write for my kids

I’m still in the process of writing #TheBridge and it has proven to be a very daunting task because of all the memories that I’m forced to revisit. 

So as I was scrolling through my newsfeed, I stumbled upon this post: Exes Ask Each Other Questions They Never Had A Chance To While Dating (Video), which I thought would be helpful but I was wrong. Half-way through the first video when she asked him why he cheated on her so many times, I had to end it. “I can’t watch this,” I told myself. His final answer to her was, “Yeah, I don’t have the answer to that.”

The reason I started #TheBridge (aside from the fact that some friends have been ‘encouraging’ me to write it for many years now) was because of my children. My 12-year-old is already interested in some girl from the opposite school. My 10-year-old, although she doesn’t seem to care about stuff like that, is also reaching that age. And we all know they grow up so damn fast. I have seven kids who will have to deal with I-don’t-know how many relationship problems each. I’m getting nervous just thinking about it. 

I’d like them to know what being in a relationship with the opposite sex is about. How they will cry their heart out at the most confusing time of their life and it’s all never like what they read in romance novels or what they see in rom-coms. How both parties can be too proud to admit their mistakes. About how they WILL make mistakes and hurt each other when they are trying to guard their own feelings. And how some broken pieces just remain unfixable. 

Sometimes I think the things we experienced when we were younger were just so petty and the ways we chose to handle them were just so silly. We were all so gullible back then. But, returning to those moments with our younger selves is still as painful. 

And this is when I wish I could just keep my kids in a monastery for the rest of their lives. Or stuff them back into my womb.

*** This was originally posted on my Facebook page on 6 June 2016.

The truth will set you free

Sometimes it’s better to keep quiet than to speak up in defence of ourselves when people misunderstand us or have been fed lies about us. Eventually, the God of truth will come to our defence and set us free. These thoughts have been on my mind for quite a while now. 

Incidentally, I stumbled upon a relatively new manga called Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari (The Rise of the Shield Hero) yesterday. The story tells of an appointed warrior who was framed by the princess, accused by the people of something he did not commit, and outcast by the king of the land he was commissioned to save.

Despite being ostracised from being a part of a group of appointed warriors, he put his all into saving and protecting the villagers who thought ill of him. However, even after protecting and fighting the kingdom from an attack, there were people who still labeled him as a criminal and wanted to claim his most priceless possession. 

Of course, things worked out for him when the truth was revealed, when people realised his heart had always been in the right place and all those trash people were talking about him were false.

He never did try to prove that he was right because no one would believe him, anyway. Who was he compared to the daughter of the king? But he persevered in his mission and came out a victor.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that someday, the truth will be revealed and the Lord will set you free. For now, trusting in his protection is all you need.

*Originally posted on my Facebook page on 23 May 2017.